Back in Podcast 17: Stunt Run 101 we asked you guys to mail in and tell us what you thought Stunt Run is like. From the numerous emails we received we have picked our favorite five and here they are.
"Stunt run is like a battered mars bar, it's all worm, gooey and great while your doing it. Then once you've completed it you get an amazing sugar rush, after that your left with a fuzzy full feeling for the rest of the day."
- Josh
The sugar-enriched fatties who run Criteriongames.com will always appreciate a man who appreciates a Mars Bar, Josh, but this comparison suggests a degree of fixation with confectionery that could precipitate an urgent psychological intervention.
You did that in such detail that we are wondering if you describe everything in terms of Mars Bars.
Friend of Josh: "Hey, Josh, I heard you saw Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith at the cinema last night. Did George Lucas provide an exciting conclusion to the story of how young Annakin Skywalker is transformed from pint-sized pod-racing prodigy to sinister embodiment of galactic evil under the dark influence of Emperor Palpatine?"
Josh: "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is like a battered Mars Bar. It's all warm, gooey and great while you're watching it. Then when the credits roll you get an amazing sugar rush. After that you're left with a fuzzy full feeling for the rest of the day."
Does this ever happen to you Josh? Be honest.
We will, however, definitely concede that your analogy is a "sweet" one. Guffaw!
"Stunt run is like clubbing in Harpers on a Monday night"
- Pete
Now, Pete, come on. In what way is it like clubbing in Harpers on a Monday night and not, say, a Friday night, or indeed a Tuesday afternoon?
What goes on Monday night? Student Night? Ladies' Night? Two Meals For The Price Of One From The Special Menu Night? Trans-Mundane Alternative Lifestyle Night?
Unfortunately we need more detail before we can consider your answer.
"HORRIBLY ADDICTING"
- Russ
So your answer, Russ, is "Stunt Run Is Like... HORRIBLY ADDICTING".
Do you win a lot of 'complete this slogan' competitions? We think so.
We really appreciate the compliment and your answer has the virtue of being entirely true, so thank you Russ.
"Stunt Run is like Ikaruga because you have to know what's coming next, much like the patterns of bullets of a boss (You have to know where the save spots are.) In Burnout Paradise you have to exactly know where the next stunt is, line up your car to hit it and block out all the other stuff that's going on."
- Stefan
In case you're wondering how in the name of all that's holy Ikaruga fits into all this, the comparison was first made by Burnout Gameplay Programmer Extraordinaire and First Earl of Cricklewood, Garry Casey, while his brain was in an altered state following a long night of making the dots on the car stats screen work.
At the time we had difficulty working out what he meant, but Stefan's reply has helped to clarify the point. That Garry is a nutcase.
"Chocolate pie - Legendary if it turns out right."
- Jack B
We have a winner!
"Chocolate Pie" - well you can't go wrong with an opener like that.
Then to follow it up with "legendary if it turns out right"... How can we argue with that? Stunt Run IS legendary if it turns out right.
Jack B, be proud of yourself for coming out on top in this celebration of Stunt Run. Rest assured, if there was a prize on offer here, you would win it. But there isn't, so you'll just have to move on with your life knowing that you've enriched ours with your wit and sagacity.
Thanks everyone for all your answers, but we just can't get enough of this Comparative Conundrum. Next up, we'd like to know what you think Showtime is like. Can your simile beat Jack B's glorious comparison between Stunt Run and chocolate pies? If so, email it to mailbag@criteriongames.com with "Showtime is like..." in the subject line and maybe you'll be at least as famous as Jack B is now.
